Marriage, and other stuff

How interesting that Alex had to make Landon and I be the one's to "get married" when he could have chosen ANYONE else... haha. I have to admit, it was really fun to "get married". I couldn't stop giggling... And I couldn't make eye contact with him completely because I might have laughed harder... or maybe even cried. Haha I will admit I might have because honestly, it almost felt too real. Which was a little scary. It's cool though... you only get to marry your bestfriend once, I guess? Haha just jokes. Even now, more than ever I believe in marriage and I believe that one day, I'll be walking down the isle (again), and this time I'll really be crying. Because God has someone planned for me whether it is my bestfriend or not... God has someone great for me. I do not doubt that one bit. And I'm really excited :] I just need to continue to trust in Him and love Him like I do! God is so wonderful. And my bestfriend never ceases to amaze me either... he's a pretty awesome guy ;] even if he's irking sometimes! Haha just kidding... kind of... well what am I talking about anyway?

My mind is all over the place. I've actually been a little irritable lately... It's because of news that I heard from a friend that made me super upset. Valentine's day was good and bad for me... I never expect anything on that day anyway. With someone or without someone... but I have to admit, I'd love to be spoiled just once. Never got that before. But whatever. Anyway, I went to Mass and then ate at Zippy's with my Valentine... I wouldn't have it any other way, really. It's who I'm with not necessarily what I do... But yeah the news I heard that day and the response I got from the other person involved... ugh. Enough to make my day sour. And Sunday... yeah.... my evening ended well with a good talk with Lando Larkson. Haha... but it went wrong again when I got inside the house and instantly became irritated =/ I hate that. I'm always irritated when I'm in this house. Idk why.

Today was pretty chill. I did nothing until I had to go to Kat's birthday dinner. Then we went to Kat's house to talk story... and I was irritated again that evening. See? Moody? I'm totally not PMSing... but I've been a little on the edge. Stress maybe. I need to go to the chapel again. Anyway, I'm all over the place, like I mentioned earlier. It's time for me to sleep.

Valentine,

Wow, knowing that this day is just around the corner makes me realize... how much I don't really care much for it. I think it's because the last three Valentine's Days that I've had kind of sucked. Junior year, my Valentine didn't show up to school. I still got something, but still... Senior year... I didn't have one. Gay. Last year... we broke up two days before Valentine's Day. Haha. This year, it's like... it's unspoken, I guess. But I'm less and less of a romantic than I used to be... "you're too romantic for me". I feel like I should be even less of one. Because things in life just don't happen that way. I don't know how to explain it exactly. I'm not really complaining... I'm just learning not to care. I'm not unhappy. But there are just things I need to change about myself to make others happy. Right? I need to cater to what other people want... it seems. And not what I want. That is what sucks.

"You're too romantic for me"

that kind of hurt... whether it was a joke or forreal. Because I've heard it before. And he was completely serious.

Why do I need to cater to the world? I only need to live for God anyway!

Though I have to say... I want to make someone feel like Gabe Bondoc in his song We Match... :]