Unhappy?

Why is it that when you have something that you KNOW is a great thing in your life, you always end up taking it for granted? Or act as if it will always be there? And then once it starts to slip away, you realize how important it is, so you do whatever it takes to get it back... so once you have it again, you start to take it for granted.

I know that I can get like this, but nowadays, I would rather appreciate every little detail in my life. I especially get scared when I think about losing people so I constantly like to remind them of how much they mean to me.

But yet, I still feel like I'm being taken for granted. Like I'm just in existence as a part of furniture. Just to be there. I don't feel important in people's lives although they may say that I am. I'm not saying that I need to know every second that I'm cared about, but at the same time... I feel like I'm just... there.

And I trust words so easily... you wouldn't even need to beg to get me back...

I think I purposely hurt myself so that you don't need to do it later.

And the title of this blog? Yes, I am unhappy. Still stuck in that same position... trying to figure myself out, wanting to move on with my life... but knowing that I can't. But maybe you wouldn't care anyway. What am I waiting for? Sometimes I feel like even as a friend I am taken for granted... I don't know how to feel sometimes. I hurt so much knowing the truth... but yet all I can do is love. Because that's what Jesus wants me to do.

LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.

I love you... unconditionally. And it's not fair. But nothing in life ever is...