"Philia"

Seems to get harder and easier at the same time. I know why I was put into that session now. At first, I was thinking, I'm not having a hard time with my friends, so why am I in this one? I think I understand it now. I should have seen it coming. The troubles ahead. I'm doing okay, I promise. It just blows my mind how much DRAMA could fall around me. And some problems aren't my own, yet people love to pull me into it. A close friend of mine told me it's probably so I am able to use my gifts, and I guess that's the reason why. I mean, how many things could possibly happen within a week? WAY too many. I feel like I'm still in High School. That's how bad this has become. I'm not sure who I can trust sometimes. Yes, you all may say "You can trust me!", but can I really trust you when everything falls apart? How many are left standing beside me? I've had trust issues for a really long time now and I have to say there are probably less than five people I can truly trust with all my heart. They know who they are... I hope.

Going back to being pulled into the drama... get your facts straight BEFORE you decide to judge. What the heck am I supposed to do about it when you coming running to me looking from the outside on someone else's business that's not my own? I've had this happen twice already this past week. Of course I am going to defend them, because I KNOW them. I know who they are. The other two I may not be so close with anymore, but I know them better than that. And the one person you're judging, you don't even know anymore. And that person is who you WANT to see--"the bad person". How is it that you're expecting a change that YOU can see physically? The most important change is on the inside... I can see it.

Gah. What to do, what to do... nothing but pray for everyone in every situation. Maybe the problem is having too many friends? But... what am I saying? I love them all... no matter what.